Love Tri-Angle

My love life has ended before it could begin because some old hag of a woman chose to haunt my life as a ghost from his past. I never did see this coming but even a man has more past than just meet-the-eye.

I met this guy about an year ago through chat and we had it going strong until recently. I thought this time it’s serious not like in the past but in the end all guys are same. Maybe God in heaven has already marked me as a confirmed spinster, maybe marriage was never meant for me but still sometimes it’s sad to see none of my relationships working.

It’s still a mystery whether the problem lies with me or the guys I’ve been seeing. I was about to fall in love when his past unfolds in front of me. My trust in him shattered when this middle aged woman emerged from his past, a woman seemingly had been financially supporting him for the past 6 years when he was still in college. Now that he’s done with college she isn’t willing to let go of him so easily. I have heard of female prostitutes but never a male whore.
I never thought a guy can sell sex for money neither did I think a time has come for women to opt for paid sex but then in our case it’s understandable; a middle aged woman might have to pay if the guy is young enough to be her son.

Well in the end, I was but a mere pawn in the game played by an old woman and a manipulative young man. I was in rage but there was nothing I could do except let go of him. I didn’t blame him for his past because I have no rights to but I’m insulted that he kept seeing her while he was with me. My only comfort is that I didn’t do anything I might regret.

He did insist that he was done with her and that he wants a fresh start with me but if there was actually a ten months old baby involved then I didn’t think we could start afresh. I might sound selfish but I never liked the concept of step mother or being one to a baby. I’d never be able to love someone’s baby as my own when it’s not, in fact I might even despise this baby because it reminds me of its mother.

After weighing all the pros and cons I had to back out of this love triangle. Even now I feel very sad, my pride is hurt most because a guy chose this old woman, mother of 3 teenage children to me but then all’s well in the end. I could never be able to raise a husband, support him financially because my mindset is still conservative, and I believe a man is supposed to support his wife and family not the other way round.

All i did was remove him from my facebook friends’ list, delete all his text messages and his mobile number from my cell and it’s as if he never existed at all, that phase of my life is over and perhaps for good. The advantage of having a strong heart is it’s easy to fall in love and easier yet to fall out of love. I didn’t shed a drop of tear neither is my heart broken; it’s still intact and inside the rib cage.

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This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Hi,
    Its a very sad and tough thing which you had to counter with. Life is sometimes very unfair, but your very last sentence says that despite all those miseries, you have been able accept it, and let him go. You sound like a very strong girl, and thats good. The time will heal eventually, so wish you best of luck!

  2. I think you wasted your college life in studies, lol, you should have spent some time in seeing guys who are great.
    God doesn't send you your true love, you have to look for him yourself…and sometime it's like a race, you reach there second. Doesn't matter, go for another… everything happens for the best.
    I am happy you left that guy, he deserves that! Do not trust him anymore… there are thousand good guys waiting. But two guys don't represent the whole species, you can't stop with fear…
    Being a step parent is great unlike you think. It is not birth that matters, it's love and attachment. But your case this time is different… forgive me and go on!

  3. @Pema Wangdi: Thanks for your soothing words, well life indeed is so unfair. I have no idea why it had to happen to me only. But then what's happened has already happened no use crying over the spilled milk.

    @Passu: I seriously think I wasted my college days buried in books, I have many regrets but that's the greatest. lol. I do believe in true love and just because I have messed up with the wrong guys doesn't necessarily mean there's no Mr. Right for me. I think he's out there somewhere ready to surface when the time is right.
    Well I don't know about step-mom, forget about step-mom I don't even know if I can be able to become a good mother. But not everyone is alike, like you said, there must be good step-parents out there.Thanks for the comment and kind words.

  4. Dear tpG,
    Keep strong, everything happens for a reason. Just remember this quote, “This too shall pass”–it will do wonders to your aching heart, it certainly did mine. You’ve my sincere prayers for a quick recovery from this painful phase of your life.
    Your well-wisher always,
    Sonam

  5. dear dear,
    that seems quite a news…i never thought you had gone through such a phase of life.Anyhow, everything that happens, happens for a reason. Keep going as you always do.

    with best regards.

  6. @Sonam: nice quote, I'll remember it. Thanks

    @sonamc: As I said earlier, this is just an exaggerated fiction. I was expecting sympathy from my readers. lol. anyways I guess I got it by seeing many comments here. Thanks.

  7. oh…thats sad..but then thats how life works out…sometimes better things we ignore, and other times we are caught in complete futile things…but you can't deny that it didnt mean to happen to you…now that it happened, its good for you that you know a thing or more about it…..good luck….

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