The first time I knew love was in my 7th standard. I fell hopelessly in love with a boy. That was when I knew what love was, what crushes were but I never for once doubted what I felt for that guy was infatuation. That so-called love was of course never reciprocated because I had no courage to tell that guy how I felt about him not that he would have liked me in return. I carried that burden for about 6 years, loving him and yearning for him. It was like one way traffic.
The second love was in diploma (2004-’06), for an elderly man. I thought I have found my Mr. Right then. I always thought elder men are more caring and feeling. Though ours was not love at all but I have seen some seriousness at first. There had been a motive on both sides. For me I think his car attracted me more to him than he himself, which of course I found out, was not the right thing to base your relationship on. He, on the other hand was hardly in love with me. For him I was just one of his possessions. He had many girl friends and I was just one amongst the rest. All we ever shared was relationship based purely on lies, mistrust and disbelief. The rest is the history.
Third love was in college. I met this guy on chat. He’s a very capable guy and I loved him with every piece of me. My life was centered on him then. I thought I have finally found the guy only to have him disappeared from my life eventually. I thought I might die from the pain. He was a really cool guy whom I haven’t seen or met in real life. Is it possible to love someone without seeing him? The answer is “yes”. I have loved him and I can only blame myself that he at all disappeared from my life. I think all the previous loves were infatuation but not this time. This time I m old enough to know my heart and my heart says it’s love and so be it. I can only wish he comes back to me…..