My love life has ended before it could begin because some old hag of a woman chose to haunt my life as a ghost from his past. I never did see this coming but even a man has more past than just meet-the-eye.
I met this guy about an year ago through chat and we had it going strong until recently. I thought this time it’s serious not like in the past but in the end all guys are same. Maybe God in heaven has already marked me as a confirmed spinster, maybe marriage was never meant for me but still sometimes it’s sad to see none of my relationships working.
It’s still a mystery whether the problem lies with me or the guys I’ve been seeing. I was about to fall in love when his past unfolds in front of me. My trust in him shattered when this middle aged woman emerged from his past, a woman seemingly had been financially supporting him for the past 6 years when he was still in college. Now that he’s done with college she isn’t willing to let go of him so easily. I have heard of female prostitutes but never a male whore.
I never thought a guy can sell sex for money neither did I think a time has come for women to opt for paid sex but then in our case it’s understandable; a middle aged woman might have to pay if the guy is young enough to be her son.
Well in the end, I was but a mere pawn in the game played by an old woman and a manipulative young man. I was in rage but there was nothing I could do except let go of him. I didn’t blame him for his past because I have no rights to but I’m insulted that he kept seeing her while he was with me. My only comfort is that I didn’t do anything I might regret.
He did insist that he was done with her and that he wants a fresh start with me but if there was actually a ten months old baby involved then I didn’t think we could start afresh. I might sound selfish but I never liked the concept of step mother or being one to a baby. I’d never be able to love someone’s baby as my own when it’s not, in fact I might even despise this baby because it reminds me of its mother.
After weighing all the pros and cons I had to back out of this love triangle. Even now I feel very sad, my pride is hurt most because a guy chose this old woman, mother of 3 teenage children to me but then all’s well in the end. I could never be able to raise a husband, support him financially because my mindset is still conservative, and I believe a man is supposed to support his wife and family not the other way round.
All i did was remove him from my facebook friends’ list, delete all his text messages and his mobile number from my cell and it’s as if he never existed at all, that phase of my life is over and perhaps for good. The advantage of having a strong heart is it’s easy to fall in love and easier yet to fall out of love. I didn’t shed a drop of tear neither is my heart broken; it’s still intact and inside the rib cage.