I can’t help but be very cynical when it comes to marriages, love affairs and Live-in-sin relationships. Although ours is easiest sort in the world, with no ‘I do’ part’, no church and bridal gown, no Sadhu and mangalsutra, to bind you to a person in matrimony by a holy ceremony.
For Bhutanese people, marriage in fact is the simplest of all affairs. Two people, irrespective of sexes (today), sleep together one night and considered married the next morning (in most cases). There’s but a little distinction between Bhutanese matrimony and the western live-in relationships. People today have made a mockery of once holy matrimony, by often changing their life partners.
Modern men and women are very practical, that marriage has now become a business, where both parties seek to gain some benefits and advantages. Love and fondness is but an old fashioned, thing of the past. Today, rich marry riches, handsome marry beauties and yet we do have cases where rich oldies get to marry the pretty-young ones. The wrinkled oldies are sugar-daddy for the young and the young in turn become the possessions of the oldies, just as the oldie’s precious porcelain or his vast art collections, kept as a showcase.
In our forefathers’ time, marriages were for life time. Divorces were unheard of, shunned by the society if it happened at all. The social stigma that could attach along with is almost unbearable. Today, however, people rather take pride in changing their spouses like their attire. Somebody has rightly pointed out, “till death do us part? Not when we can divorce”, a perfect theme for today’s marriages. It’s easy to marry and easier to divorce.
In the past, our parents have tolerated each other for decades, despite all their differences. That’s how we are happy today but if we keep following the western trend of devastating divorces, for even a silly little stuff, we are bound to ruin the future of our children and destroy their lives before they could begin, for no fault of their own.
I’ve seen my share of ugly marriages and miserable couples, to know better than to believe in it. For god’s sake, where’s the initial love and insanity gone? Where’s the missing and I-can’t-live-without-you part? Are all those gone astray?
The basic problem with Bhutanese couples, is once bound by the marriage certificate or children, they tend to take things for granted. The search of Mr. /Mrs. Right is over, and then they lay back and relax. A married man starts receding hairline and bulging waistline. The case is no better for the women counterpart, after giving birth, a woman’s backside starts widening and her sagging bosoms, is a total turn-off for every onlooker. Gone were those fresh youthful looks. One can only understand why married couples tend to get repulsive by the mere sight of each other, since the eye fetching sight is no longer in place.
So far so good, no married couple has been a role model for those single ones on outlook for potential suitors, because every marriage has its own dirty ugly story. Adultery, love affairs and greedy relatives are some of the many reasons why couples fight, marriages break down and children suffer. I have many divorcee friends; single mothers and fathers, those who have tried their hands at marriage, for what is worth, their only regret is why they didn’t think twice before taking the huge leap. Can’t marriage be like software, with the testing part? That way, if all test cases are right, one can proceed to the next stage i.e. conceiving part so that no innocent children have to suffer.
In courts, high and district, divorce scenes are horrible and monstrous, with couples flying at each other’s neck and murderous gleam in their eyes shows not a tint of love they had for each other in the past. Couples blaming each other, the case of “pot calling the kettle black”. Eventually it’s the children, those who bear the consequences of some petty deed of their parents. Children, whose life is compromised by the circumstances and consequences of divorces, without being asked what they want, for their decision doesn’t count here.